Saturday, December 29, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I had an email from Eve in England. She had read about our newcomer and thought she should let me know that the Monkees have opened up a new front in their plan to take over the world . This youngster has been abandoned on her doorstep in Haslemere, Surrey. She thinks their evil plan is that he should be a mole, ingratiating himself with his baby face and innocent eyes, but in reality taking advantage of the fact that she travels to the northern reaches of the Continong to infiltrate himself amongst the Danes and learn their language. Of course, now he has been exposed for what he really is, Eve wasted no time in trying to get him to talk, but he bit down hard on his dummy, thinking he would commit harikiri.... but the Dirty Monkee Tricks Dept. got the strychnine confused with the sacherine and instead of the bum rush, he got a sugar rush...
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
There is a stranger within our midst. Monchichiland has its first estrangero. Munkima found him rummaging in the bin behind the Red Cross shop, and felt sorry for him. Recognising that he bore a passing resemblance to Monkee Maker's creations, she brought him home, but wasn't sure what Bossman's reaction might be (dyed in the wool racist that he is) so she installed him in the potting shed and put Ruby Lou and the Ninfant in charge of his comfort and education. He was very quick to learn, and soon let them know that he required chocolate in any form, and plenty of beer; preferably not the weak stuff from Lidl he said...Once I had twigged what was going on, I had him brought up to the house and told him he could stay for a while, on probation, but he had better get used to Lidl beer, because the rest of the family get legless on gnat's pee.
As you can see, he has fitted in quite well. He is beginning to open up a little about his reasons for leaving his homeland. It seems his main reason is that he just didn't fit in. He is sure he was adopted as a baby. His mother called him PG, but in his heart he knows he is really Earl Grey. "So what should we call you then?" I asked. He considered for 10 seconds; "My Lord....?"
I'm not sure if "Get stuffed" is an insult where he comes from, but he got the message, and we came to a compromise. We shall refer to him as "EG". It seems he likes to have his photograph taken with celebrities. We don't have many of those on this particular Costa, so he settled for a snap taken with the Blues Brothers before they left for their new home down on the beach.